Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Random

Akh.. Hello my blog...

I really don't know how I'm going to start this post today and I'm telling you all now I have no clue how it will end.

Just came back from a small 3 day holiday with my siblings and nephews. It's funny how they're meant to be so relaxing, yet you spend so much time sight seeing and visiting various places that you don't even get time to do that at all. I needed a few days to actually recover! But it was great overall and will probably be my last outing before Uni starts in a few weeks inshaAllah.

Other than that, just been bumming around the house not really doing anything exciting. I've had plenty of time to reflect upon myself and hopefully start working on making some changes. Such as talk less and listen more, be more selfless, be more considerate and become a better Muslim role model. I really want to work on these few things and probably a few more, I really hope they're not put off because they're very important factors that are vital for a good character and that's what I want.

Sometimes I think about how one day I will become a wife, then a mother and what I tend to is look at others who are living those very roles right now. I wonder if I will ever be able to become like my own mother, the way she takes care of us all is truly amazing and deep down it's scary to think about. What if I cannot meet up to these standards, will it make me a failure? What can I do now to help me later on? Just a few thoughts that have been coming to mind..

Then my mind also goes off to wonder about the husband/father role and how not all woman understand what they are going through and the pressure and stress they worry about. Working tirelessly to provide for their wife and kids and help secure a future for them. Seeing my own father worry really saddens me, as his situation is sometimes easily looked over. Even though my parents worked most of their life securing some kind of future for us, I want them to make the most of what they have instead of always worrying about us, the "future".

We shouldn't have the mentality that we are going to live forever, so live in the moments we have now and enjoy them in a way that is pleasing to Rab al 3alameen.

I hope to start a family one day, with the will of Allah swt. But I can't help but wonder when.

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